My Miscarriage

What happened was this, on Friday the 26th I got a very unexpected BFP. I really thought I was out of the running for the month. I called my doctors office and was prescribed progesterone due to the fact that I have had prior miscarriages, and also because my cd21 blood test should that my progesterone was a little on the low side.
Everything seemed to be going great. Signs of morning sickness were approaching and I was welcoming it with open arms.
Tuesday morning I noticed I had some light light bleeding, like pink in color. So in turn I wasn’t worried. By that afternoon it was gone. Then Tuesday night the bleeding reminded me of how I bleed on a light day of my period. So I put on a pad and told myself that if any blood went to the pad I would head to the ER. 15 minutes later a friend of mine was driving me and my son to the ER while I was just trying to cling onto some hope.
While I was waiting to be taken back a nurse had me give a urine sample so they could do a test. Finally I got back to a room where another nurse sat down and told me that the test was negative. I felt my heart drop to the lowest level. She went onto to telling me that the doctor wanted to do a pelvic exam to check my cervix and then they would pull some blood for multiple blood work.
Well the tech came in and pulled 7 or 8 things of blood, better safe than sorry they said. Then the doctor came in and did an exam and told me that my cervix was open. Strike two. At this point I pretty much know that there is no hope. But my friend being the endearing person she is told me to wait till the blood work came back, and it was a BFN!!! My HCG was 1, which meant I had already completely passed everything.
So at this point Tyler walked through the exam room door. He was at work (night worker) and didn’t bother to wait till I called him to tell him if I needed him, he just came on his own. I don’t think I have ever been so happy to see him as I was at that moment in time. I just couldn’t stop crying. I felt like I failed.
The doctor gave me some meds for my pain and told me to call my OB in the morning.
I called yesterday morning and talked to my nurse and explained everything that had happened the night before. She told me she was going to call the hospital and the lab to get everything and then her and my doctor would look over everything and she would call me with a plan of attack.
Well she finally called me yesterday afternoon and the first thing she asked was, “Did they give you anything for the UTI?” and I explained that they didn’t even tell me I HAD a UTI. So after that was squared away she went on to tell me that my doctor wants me to take a month off. Give my body a chance to heal properly. Then she went onto telling me after that month break that we would go back onto the clomid and go from there. At which point I ask her, “Is it possible that it could be something else? I know I have had all of the testing done and everything looks fine, but this isn’t my first miscarriage. I haven’t had a successful pregnancy since my son and he is getting ready to turn 5.” She then said the words that broke my heart, “Well, in that case I am not sure if there is anything else we can do for you. Let me and the doctor look over your chart and he might want to send you to the fertility clinic right away.”
So early this evening my doctor himself called me. He wanted to tell me how sorry he was for my loss and to talk about everything. He answered my questions and reassured me that there may very well be something going on that is preventing me to keep a pregnancy. There is a fertility clinic in Little Rock and he knows the doctors that work there very well. He told me that on Monday morning he was going to call one of them and get me an appt. I know that I can feel comfortable with whomever he sends me to because his policy on referrals is, “I won’t send any of my patients to anyone I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending my own family to.” With that said now I have to wait for an appt and then for the appt to actually happen.I was feeling like giving up on this whole TTC thing. I have 7 angels in heaven and really don’t feel like sending anymore, but I figure it can’t hurt to at least meet with the fertility specialist. Thank you again to everyone, it really means a great deal to me. Please continue to pray that my journey can have a happy ending.